“Breakin’ Up Is Hard to Do”
Listen to Chapter 2, “Julie and Allen Break Up”
After the morning seminars, it was time for lunch. Then there was a concert, richly eloquent in its beauty, given by the participating choirs and orchestras. Julie was content to be with Darlene and her girlfriend Sandy. She had even almost forgotten to look for Bill any more. But down deep inside, cast away temporarily, Julie felt that growing emptiness. She should be with Allen, sharing all this—the prayers, the worship, the music—together.
“Julie! There they are!” Darlene was poking her again. Who this time? Julie looked.
“Mrs. Macintosh and Allen!” Julie strained her eyes to look across the huge auditorium. But she lost sight of them; and when she looked a moment later, they had disappeared.
“I want to find him,” Julie said in a strange tone. “We’ve got some talking to do.” She rose quickly and left, leaving the other girls a little bewildered.
“Where are you going?” Darlene called. But Julie did not hear.
For the next three hours, no one saw Julie or Allen. No one knew Julie had followed Allen down the stairs, through the lobby, and up the escalator until she had cornered him in an alcove off the top balcony where no one sat. No one saw Allen and Julie make their way down from the balcony, cross the lobby, and start down the stairs that led to the banquet room. At the foot of the stairway was a cool, dimly lit niche. There was a square pond where three small palm trees grew. Several white stone benches surrounded it. Everything seemed like a well-written drama.
Julie finally put into words the question that had first prompted her to leave the concert. “Allen, do you still love me?”
“Yes,” he replied slowly and deliberately. “But it’s a different kind of love, Julie.” Not the kind of love one marries for, she could hear Bob saying.
Allen went on. “Not the sickening sentimental kind of love that we used to believe would just last forever and ever.”
Julie was crying now, her face buried deep in Darlene’s sweater she had borrowed.
It was not the first time he had seen her cry, but a new sense of responsibility grasped Allen. He put his arm around the sobbing girl, but neither of them spoke.
Julie’s sobs came in spurts. At first, she only shook her head and buried her face. She could not speak.
Allen’s voice was not unkind. “A teenager has many loves,” he said. “It’s normal, Julie.” Is it, Allen? she wanted to scream at him. Why would it be normal to let go of genuine love once you’ve found it?
She asked pensively, “Do you think we were ever really in love?”
“Yes, I do,” was Allen’s quiet reply. “And we wanted to believe it would never end. But we were so very young—only sixteen.” Now Allen lifted her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. “Smile,” he said lightly.
Bill Johnson is seventeen, Julie thought. Maybe Bill is not too young to know genuine love…
She relaxed and giggled slightly. “I’m curious,” she said. “Just how long have you felt this way?”
Allen smiled. “Oh, since about the first of February, I guess. A couple months.” Since I first went out with Mindi, he thought.
She nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
“How did you know?” A peculiar smile played on his face.
“Oh, a girl can sense it. The conveniently forgotten valentine in the rush of helping plan for the February 14 banquet you took Mindi to!”
Allen smiled sheepishly. “You’re going to like being free,” Allen said. “It’s, well, it’s—”
“I know,” Julie said almost impishly. In my mind, Allen, I broke up with you quite a while ago. I have been free. I’ve known how it feels for quite a while. I don’t feel guilty anymore about Bill or anyone.
Allen spoke again. “There’s ‘marvelous’—”
Julie laughed. “Oh, honestly, Allen! I only saw him that one night when Kurt and Peter and Sandra and I went to Garden Grove. I hardly even know him—” But she stopped. Why was she making excuses now?
“But he’s moving to Riverdale this summer, Peter told me.”
“Um-hum.” She smiled sweetly. “Maybe you can meet him when you’re home from San Margo Academy.”
“Let’s go back now,” he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “It’s getting late. Hey, I think it’s almost time for supper.”
< Julie Goes to Beach City | Julie and Bill on Rainbow Pier >
- Julie Goes to Beach City
- Julie and Bill on Rainbow Pier
- Julie’s Ride Home from Beach City
- After Julie’s Graduation
- Julie Goes to College
- Christmas Vacation in Riverdale
- Bill’s Senior Prom
- Going All the Way
- Bill’s Summer Job
- Bill Almost Dies
- Bill Gets Drafted
- Julie Meets Howard
- Sandra Gets Married
- Bill Proposes to Julie
- Bill Goes to Vietnam
- Julie’s Senior Year at College
- Julie and Howard Graduate
- How Did It Really End?
- Afterword