A New Fall Semester (September 1964)

“If I Loved You” (piano)

Listen to Chapter 10

The weeks before the opening for the fall semester at La Paloma turned into days. “Well,” breathed Sandra, setting down her bundles, “I think we’ve got about everything. Boy, I sure like our pink bedspreads, don’t you?”

“Sure do.” Julie busied herself with putting her shopping treasures away.

“I bet we can fix up our room to look like a little dollhouse!” Sandra, dreamy-eyed, fingered the soft pile rugs and satiny quilting of the spread. “Oh, Julie, it’s going to be such a neat year! La Paloma accepted Bob for this school year! And Allen and Kurt and Bill—maybe Rafael, too—will be around. Just think—this time next year I’ll be married and we’ll both we elementary teachers, Bob and me.”

“And just think,” Julie reminded, “this time a year ago, it was just at this point that our plans for being roommates last year fell through.”

Sandra whirled herself around and flopped on Julie’s bed. “But things just can’t go wrong this time! They just can’t—can they?”

“Well, I hope not.” Julie was casually quiet. “Although Momma has been talking about maybe renting a little house in the La Paloma Village.”

“Oh!” Sandra groaned, realizing that such a move could mean the loss of her roommate.

“Allen’s going to be living on the La Paloma campus, you know,” Julie interjected calmly.

“Really!” Sandra’s eyes opened wide. “This will prove to be an interesting year.”

“Back to the subject,” Julie went on, “I have considered staying out of school and working a year—”

“You can’t!” Sandra sat up and looked at her hoped-for roommate. “Julie, honey, I’m sorry if I sound unkind. I know you should love your mother like you do—she needs a lot of love now. But—”

Julie was silent, not even hearing Sandra’s words.

“Sandra—” Julie’s voice quivered—“what if Allen ‘talks’? What if he tells other guys at La Paloma—about what we did—at Rainbow Rock?”

Suddenly Sandra understood Julie’s seriousness. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “Just—just pray that he doesn’t.”

*****

Sometime later, Bob followed Sandra into the dorm room, both arms filled with boxes and bags. “Is this all, sweetheart?”

Sandra looked around. “I think so. Thanks so much, honey, for helping me move in.”

“When’s Julie coming?” Bob planted a kiss on Sandra’s forehead.

“Oh, she moved in already. I think she’s out with Kurt tonight. At the library.”

“Hmm, what a pair,” Bob chuckled. “Well, I guess I better be on my way. It’s almost door-closing time. See you tomorrow, doll.”

“Night-night.” Sandra closed the door softly. Tomorrow! That was the big day—registering for classes, buying books, seeing about work, and fixing up the room. Boy, it seemed like only yesterday that she was registering for first grade. How simple that was compared to this, her junior year in college! She remembered her sixth-grade year when she and Julie had become such great pals. Then seventh and eighth—she shuddered and laughed at the same time to think about it. That was when Miss Delavin, the upper-grade teacher at the little two-room country school in Riverdale—the same school where Sandra might teach!—had labeled her and Julie “boy-crazy.” Back then it was almost common knowledge that Sandra Lee and Julie Scott would “turn out bad.”

Sandra closed the curtains. Well, next summer Miss Delavin would be at her wedding, would meet Bob, and would find out just how wrong she had been. But Julie—what would Miss Delavin say if she ever knew about her—and Allen? We grew up together—how could this happen? Sandra almost thought out loud. We both had pigtails, we both played accordions. Sandra let her head fall onto the new pillow as her mind searched for the answer. We both fell in love. We both survived what they used to say about us. We did everything together. How can we be in such different worlds now? And just why was the prettier, supposedly more intelligent one of us unable to escape from fate?…

*****

Later that night, Julie made her way down the stairs and through the softly lighted green-carpeted hallway. She yawned. When Kurt got wound up on a subject, it took a while to get him unwound. She and Kurt were really alike—so scientifically minded and businesslike, enjoying brain probing, and each very independent. It was neat to have a “good buddy” relationship without the romantic sentimentalism—and complications. He’ll probably take Greg’s place in my life this year, she mused as she opened the door to a darkened room where Sandra was sound asleep.

*****

The California sunrise came much too soon for the excited but tired girls.

“What time did you get in last night?” Sandra brushed her tangled hair.

“You were asleep.” Julie fluffed her pillow. “About 9:30.”

“With Kurt, huh?” Sandra closed the bathroom door behind her.

“Um.” Julie straightened the rug. “Going to breakfast?”

“Yeah.” Sandra drew a deep breath as she peered out the window. “You know, I was just thinking how lucky we are—”

“Lucky?!” There was a trace of scorn in Julie’s voice. “After what has happened to me this summer?”

“I know it’s hard—about your grandfather and all,” Sandra sympathized. “But, remember, I went through it two years ago with my mother. And you’ve still got your Momma and Uncle Jake and your cousin Sue.”

“But there was Aunt Jenny, too, last spring. Grandpa Philip was retired, you know. I didn’t inherit a fortune from any rich relatives. You’ll have your Aunt Hazel’s estate and all your mother’s things and won’t have to worry a minute about school bills.”

“Well, what about your California state scholarship—and the Rambler?”

“The Rambler—ha! That still belongs to Momma. She and Uncle Jake don’t have that much stuff.”

“What’s money, anyway, compared to losing someone you love?”

“What’s anything compared to losing someone you love?” Julie turned away. “I mean Allen, too.”

“Oh, Julie, give yourself a chance!” Sandra touched her shoulder. “Maybe you haven’t lost Allen—”

Julie only shook her head and pulled away to face the window. “I have lost love—the love of the most wonderful man in the world—but I have life,” she said with finality—“a complete life of my own. A career girl—that’ll be me—traveling, seeing the world, meeting and helping people. No strings at all, no ties to anyone—except God. Maybe I’ll go into psychology, maybe music and the arts, maybe even computer science. Sandra, don’t you realize—I’m free!”

Sandra said nothing as she tried to get a glimpse of Julie’s world from where she stood in her own world—with Bob.

“Julie.” Sandra swallowed hard to hide her nervousness. “W-we both have to go to register at 8:30, don’t we?”

Julie turned slowly and handed the class schedule booklet to Sandra. She sighed softly and smiled. “Let’s go,” she said. “We’ll be late for breakfast.”

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